I love this place....

I don't know what it is about this trip that has been different from all the rest. Every time I come to Ireland, it feels like I never left, but I miss home and everyone back in FL so much. So much that I every time I have come, I don't feel that this is my home anymore. Which really bothered me. I couldn't figure out why I hated it so much. Why everything about Bray is absolutely perfect, yet I always prefer stinking Florida(which is not me at all). Bray really is everything I love. The weather is perfect. I love living in a small town. Being able to walk everywhere. Beautiful scenery. You can meet and be with some great people. But there's also plenty of places you can be alone. The food is always great. The culture is me. I love everything about it. Which is why I wondered how I hated being here somedays.

Like I said, I don't know what's changed. Because now I absolutely love it. I have barely thought about home or FL or anything. And when I do, I don't wish I was back there. I wish I could stay here. Maybe it's me that's changed. The thing that's surprising me most is that I am less attatched to anyone or anything than I have ever been. With all that's happened, I would have thought I would be more attatched. Since I tend to do that when I lose someone or several someones and my world starts to fall apart. I freak out. Get scared. People are all that would get me through. But lately, I have not been myself. It was strange at first. As change usually does, it freaked me out. But not now. As I've said, I'm having a wonderful time. Not missing home at all. Not freaking out about the future. Not relying on anyone. Being completely different than I have been in my life. Maybe not to anyone else but myself. But maybe after a while, people will see it too. I don't care if they do or not. All I know is that I am different. And that for once, I feel good about it. Not scared, not trying to avoid the changes in my life. But living life. Taking risks. Feeling happy. Raising the bar. Shooting for my dreams no matter how ridiculous they may be. Finally being me...